Baseball, apple pie and American Idol. I can’t wait for my bi-weekly slice of Americana — American Idol. If you are one of the few uninitiated, you can view the previous performances of David Archuleta and David Cook, the two remaining contestants, by using their names as the search terms on http://www.youtube.com/.
Tonight is the final competition between the crooning 17 year old and the would-be bartender. Both have gone from total obscurity to being flanked by masses of screaming, star-struck fans. Where else but America (and American Idol) can you watch a televised evolution of the American dream unfurl so quickly before your very eyes?
Tags: Entertainment
Where did my youth go? It must have scampered out the door when I wasn’t looking . . . perhaps in the middle of a confusing relationship or a disappointing date. And, if it’s really gone, what am I supposed to do now — visit a plastic surgeon? Take up knitting and begin a cat collection?
If the forties are the new thirties (whatever that means), then what is 44.5 and why is it freaking me out? It’s more than those little crinkling lines around my eyes which now refuse to be moisturized (or Retin-Aed) away. It’s more than the thinning hair (on my head . . . the hair on my face seems to be flourishing). It’s more than the occassional errant gray hair on my brow or the fact that my cheeks are slowly descending to my jawline. It’s just the point of it — I’m not ready to be old.
I write to you while exfoliating in preparation for step one of the rejuvenation process — self tanning. Next, will be the bleaching of my teeth. After that, I suppose I will buy a wig (what do you think the aged stars on T.V. are wearing . . . that’s not their real hair). I’ll let you know how life is as an orange, ice-boxed smiling wanna be. I imagine the look will be quite fetching . . . and so genuine!
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Tags: Aging · 40 Something
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Tags: Family · recipes · neighbors · Friends · Turkey
October 23rd, 2007 · 1 Comment
How many times a day do we find ourselves enmeshed in a negotiation? Where to eat and who will take out the trash are examples of routine negotiations. Daily debates could also come under that classification. But what can you do when you find yourself involved in an unproductive exchange over something of import to you? Here are a few tips to get you through:
1. If you are in the midst of a heated exchange, disengage. Use a statement like: “Let’s talk about this when we both seem calmer.” You will have removed yourself from a bad situation BUT left the door open for further discussion. Very few people are able to “hear” what is being said while in emotional disarray. It is pointless to negotiate with someone while they are in that state. If you are the person who is upset and cannot distance yourself from your emotions, better to revisit the topic when you regain your clarity.
2. Listen to the other person’s proposal. While they are speaking, don’t use the time to formulate your response or disprove their theories. If the other person speaks for a prolonged period and covers several issues before you have a chance to respond, stop them, in a pleasant way, and let them know that, for you, it would be helpful to discuss one point at a time (i.e “Bob, I really want to understand what you are saying, but I’m getting too much information to process at once. Do you think we could go issue by issue? That way, I will have a chance to really understand your perspective.”)
3. Reflect what you have heard back to the speaker using your own words. For example, “Bob, I’m hearing you say X, is that right?” If you get it wrong, try again.
4. Take your time in formulating your response. Don’t let your mouth go faster than your brain. If you can’t think of a response in that moment, you can always buy time. For example, “Bob, I want to think about what you’ve said before I come back to you with an answer/response.”
5. Never negotiate against yourself.
6 What happens if you don’t like the offer/proposal being made? View it as a starting point in the negotiation. . . even if ”Bob” says it’s his “final offer.” Come back with a positive spin like “Bob, I’m trying to come up with a win/win for both of us. I’m hearing you say that you want “X” and I’m saying I need “Y.” Let’s figure out a way to bridge this gap.” Then brainstorm together. Once you’ve made your opponent a co-owner of the solution, you will have the best chance at striking a durable deal that works for both of you. . . you may also pick up a new friend, too.
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Tags: Uncategorized · relationships · psychology · Friends · Personal Development · Negotiation · Business
If you have been to a dinner party or received a gift, chances are that you owe a note of thanks. Chaya Bella, at http://alifeart.com/blog, has debuted her new site, Excelling At the Art of Life. Her topic today? Thank you notes and she has sample ones for you to copy! Click here to go to her site! Enjoy!
Tags: Uncategorized · relationships · Blogging · Pass it forward · love · Friends
October 22nd, 2007 · 2 Comments
Over a decade ago, a younger neighbor told me she didn’t believe men and women could be “friends” — that a romantic component is always at play. I vehemently disagreed with her position. I had several male friends at that time.
Now, I am actually beginning to think she is correct. As I review my list of male friends, they all seem to have originated from a dating or romantic context. Moreover, they do all, periodically, throw flirts my way. I suppose I used to view these usually benign inferences as quirks of male communications. I’m in the process of changing my mind.
My friendships with women never entail these “flirts.” And, the older I become, my male friend “flirts” are starting to include forms of uninvited, familiar touching. Initially, I attributed the more invasive “flirts” to my being older and them thinking that somehow made me “desperate” for romantic attention . . . or maybe they were getting older and it was a way for them to validate their desirablility. Overall, however, it has become annoying.
While I believe that a person can never have too many friends, I am re-evaluating whether I should include male friendships in my circle. I have kept my male friends from college, but we live in different states, have been friends for over twenty years, and stay in contact via email. There are no “flirts” involved in these relationships – we are life anchors for one another when we seem to fall off of our paths. We have been friends while we were all single, while I was married, and since my divorce. My more recent male friendships, those formed after I became single, are a completely different story.
At this stage of my life, I am very busy with work, raising my teenager (and being her chauffer), charitable organizations . . . and I ponder the wisdom of incorporating new male “friends” into my life. With all close friendships, there is emotional intimacy involved. With my male friends, once they become seriously involved with a woman, that emotional intimacy wanes. When they get married, I immediately jump out of their lives. Personally, I believe that emotional intimacy then becomes the exclusive domain of their spouse. Living by the “Golden Rule,” I wouldn’t want for my husband to make plans with a single woman. I wouldn’t want for my husband to be sharing intimacies (of any form) with another woman . . . and especially not with an old girlfriend.
Last night, while out with a male “friend” (so confusing, it may have been a date . . . who knows), I was standing on an aisle at Blockbuster, staring at a row of movies. My friend was across the store. I noticed that someone had come beside me to look in the same aisle. After a minute, I looked up and realized that it was an old boyfriend — one with whom I had shared a serious relationship. We were excited to see each other and it would have been so fun to catch up (we were very close for many years). He commented about my dress (which was rather alluring) and I began to tell him about working with a personal trainer, but then caught myself. His wife, who knew that we had previously dated, was on another aisle . . . wearing a more modest outfit.
So, there we were and I could only think of one appropriate word to say – “Goodbye,” I said with a smile. I immediately wandered off to find my friend. He wandered off to find his new spouse. And that was that.
These days, when I date someone and it isn’t a match, the buzz words seem to be “we’ll be friends.” I don’t think I want any more of these male “friends.” I no longer see the point in establishing a friendly intimacy which is transient. I don’t have the time or energy to spend cultivating that type of “friendship.” I want to spend my time establishing more meaningful things. Thoughts? –Single Parent On The Go
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Tags: relationships · Single Parenting · Dating · divorce · love · Friends · Couples
October 19th, 2007 · 1 Comment
Beyond buying or making costumes, Halloween can be one of the most fun-filled holidays for your family. Never miss an opportunity to celebrate — some of our most enlightened moments occur when we are filled with joy and love. Those moments spill over and infuse our lives with meaning. They ground us. They invoke a fundamental, innate gratitude within us for the gift of life. Halloween, a holiday so profoundly exciting to children, is a golden opportunity to create that vortex of joy and love for you and your family. This article will include a number of fun activities — some would be perfect for a non-custodial parent to do with the children. Sharing special activities is such a wonderful way to bond with our children. Below, you will find a list of activities for children of all ages. Enjoy!
1. Visit a pumpkin patch and let your children choose their ”perfect” pumpkins! For younger children, the mere site of a pumpkin patch can be enthralling. Knowing that they will be able to choose any size or shaped pumpkin is tantamount to you having a shopping spree at The Sharper Image (or your favorite store). Give them free reign on their choices. If they ask you what you think, turn the question back to them. . . it is an easy way to foster the notion that you believe that they can make important choices.
2. Have a twilight pumpkin carving. You can do this with your children alone, or include some of your neighbors. Neighbors are great guests for this type of party because the children will be reminded of the cherished event, not just by catching a glimpse of their pumpkins, but those of your neighbors, as well. It’s also a great way to bond and get to know your neighbors. People talk about all sorts of things when they are doing creative activities.
The younger children can draw the design for carving. You can also find carving patterns online and trace your designs onto the pumpkins. Older children may be capable of actually carving – you know your child’s abilities so the carving is your call. Don’t forget to save the seeds for toasting. You can find an easy, delicious toasting recipe by clicking here .
3. Make your own trick or treat containers. . . you will keep it for prosperity long after your children have stopped using it! All you will need for this easy project is one balloon per child, strips of shredded newspaper, Elmer’s glue, light sandpaper, string, and paint. Blow up the balloons, create a paste/slip of water and glue, and let the children papier mache half the way up their balloon. The paper should be dry (if they don’t make it too wet) by the following day. Pop the balloon, smooth out any sharp edges with sandpaper, poke holes for the string (for carrying the container), and it’s time for the children to paint! We used pipe cleaners and big pom poms to make antennae on ours.
You may find that they will use their special trick or treat containers for years to come. I use my daughter’s as an indoor flower pot now. In the past, we’ve actually used it as the trick or treat serving dish.
4. Older kids may want to devise a spooky environment for the trick or treaters. There are great soundtracks you can buy and play in the background. Blue lights on the porch are super cool and make fake cobwebs glow in the dark! Let their minds create and implement the ideas together. Save your decorations for the following year, and let them add to the set design as each year passes.
5. Be clever with your treats. Instead of candy, your can use a mixture of inexpensive party favors like Chinese handcuffs, rubber finger puppets, super balls, glow sticks … Let your children decide what’s cool.
6. The main point is to have fun, laugh, work together and create lasting memories! Don’t forget to take pictures along the way. To finish off the celebration, make a Halloween Album that you fill each year. You can buy an inexpensive one, cover it with fabric (using a glue gun) and let the kids decorate the cover. Make sure to fill it with blank paper so that they can draw or write about their adventures. You can always affix the pictures with photo corners.
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Tags: relationships · Single Parenting · Family · Easy Halloween · neighbors · Friends · Parenting · Halloween
Who said Halloween was just for children?!? Costumes, candles, and “things that go bump in the night” can also be fun fodder for adults! Even if you have children, they will go to sleep – then it’s time for your special celebration! Here are 10 tips to make your couple’s Halloween sizzle:
1. Buy a sexy costume!
2. Carve a heart in a pumpkin and add a candle with your favorite scent — put it on the dresser or nightstand;
3. Leave your partner a hot Halloween card on the seat of their car in the morning . . . with a hint that other things are yet to come;
4. Buy a bottle of red wine with a private Halloween label. Some actually say “made in Transylvania.”
5. Sprinkle some “red hots” across the cover of the bed;
6. Buy some temporary Halloween tattoos and apply them to “key” areas;
7. Place a couple of wine glasses next to the bottle of wine on your nightstand. If you want to be creative, tape some batwings to the stems;
8. Replace your normal bedroom light bulb with a red one . . . or a blue light, depending on your costume. If your costume is white (i.e. a Doctor’s coat or a French Maid uniform — a blue light would really accentuate it!);
9. Buy some fun Halloween music for ambiance; and
10. Throw some red satin sheets on your bed!
Never miss an opportunity to celebrate with your honey. Create a fun, romantic memory that will have your partner smiling and savoring the memory of Halloween all day long on November 1st!
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Tags: relationships · Couples · Halloween
October 15th, 2007 · 1 Comment
“environment. (n.) The combination of external physical conditions affecting the growth and development of organisms.” Webster’s II, 1984.
Our culture has changed remarkably over the past several decades. The days of sunning our Crisco-drenched bodies while wearing our turquoise eye shadow have long since passed. The big hair era, when we went through cans of aerosol spray to mold and freeze our elegant Do’s, seems as antiquated as the petticoat. In our quest to move forward and simplify our daily lives with technological advances and sophisticated food processing techniques, we seem to be losing the very foundation of our existence – our environment, our health, and our sanity.
We are now in an age where marriages are almost as disposable as paper plates. Homemade dinners have given way to what we call “fast food,” which may actually not contain much “food” at all. Aren’t the cell phones, palm pilots and blackberrys supposed to make our lives easier? If so, why is such large segment of the population on anti-depressants? Maybe, in our efforts to make the world flat, we should have been more cognizant that it is, in fact, round.
Now, one out of ninety four children are developing autism; one out of thirteen children suffer from asthma; and my friends are being diagnosed with breast cancer and multiple sclerosis in droves. Are we being poisoned by the high powered chemicals we use to “clean” our homes? Maybe all of those plastic and mercury filled items we pitched into the trash haven’t really just “disappeared.” Although there are still some who refute the notion of Global Warming, I’m banking on the fact that the Nobel Academies and Committee designated to award the Nobel Prizes are a fairly knowledgeable crew.
So, how inconvenient would it be to change our ways? For individuals, not as difficult as you might think. If you don’t already, start recycling and discontinue buying products which cannot be recycled in your area. For example, Dallas County doesn’t recycle #6 plastic goods, so I don’t buy anything with #6 plastic. In fact, I no longer buy plastic ware at all. We use real napkins and real towels instead of those made from paper. I always request paper bags when shopping, because the plastic bags aren’t recyclable. If I can manage without using a bag, I will. I read my news online – I save trees, time, space and money.
All of my household cleaners are made by a climate neutral company. The cleansers are all natural, biodegradable, climate friendly, and come in recyclable packaging. They are also highly concentrated so I go through very few bottles in a year. For example, one 16 oz bottle of the all purpose cleaner will make 48 gallons when mixed. I even use this cleaner as a carwash. I mist it onto my car right before the rain, go over it with a sponge, and let Mother Nature do the rest. I find solace in knowing that the chemicals being washed off of my car and onto my yard and into the gutters are climate friendly.
I turn off my lights when I leave a room. When the lights are on, you will see I use the energy saving bulbs – not pretty, but neither are the manifestations of Global Warming. The one aspect of being green that I do grapple with is washing out the tin cans before they can be recycled. . . and then I remember that I would rather be washing those tin cans than ever hear another person I love tell me that they have cancer.
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Tags: Green · Go Green · Blogging · Blog Action Day · Environment
Today’s blog is about the gift of friendship. One of my favorite friends is Sunshine — so aptly named, as you will see from her words, below. I’m sharing her personal “blog” to me with the hope that her infectious zest for life and love traverses across the Internet waves, comes through your screen, and fills you with some of her great energy. I told her that she should have a blog — if you agree, please give some kudos and make some comments. Who wouldn’t want to hear or read a voice like hers each day! Here is Sunshine’s message:
Hi Pretty Girl:
Loved the blog. Thanks for citing Sunshine twice. I love being the “sunshine” in your life. I hope to always be able to shed a few rays and positive energy to you.
October is my favorite month . . . for many reasons. First, it has the delicious fall weather that I so love. Beautiful sunshine and a brisk breeze of cooler air and, oh, those awesome nights . . . Any opportunity to be outdoors, I’m taking it. Lunch on patios; bike rides; tennis games; walking with friends; sitting at an evening soccer practice (not my first choice, but it felt good sitting there in the wonderful October night . . .rather than being indoors at a speaking event. Kid’s come first! I knew I did the right thing when my son thanked me for staying and told me he felt so great at practice.)
Getting back to October:
It’s also my (and your) birth month. . . a time of reflection about another year past, that seemed to zoom. Can I already be 40? I still feel like I’m 22. But, nonetheless, I love life and am so glad that I am here to celebrate my 40 years with health, family, friends . . .who could ask for more.
Yes, there are challenges . . . and days of feeling blue for no reason at all. In fact, last week wasn’t the BEST week ever. I, too, had child issues, husband issues, work issues, and even a small friend issue. But, all worked themselves out . . . communication has been my key and not taking things personally. Conflicts will happen as life happens, but handling them as soon as they arise, before letting them get out of control, seems to help me. Plus, I’d rather spend my time feeling happy and positive, doing what makes me feel good.
You, too, have dealt with feeling blue, but I’m glad you are not letting it get the best of you. Those feelings can never win. Think of all that you have that is wonderful in your life: beauty, intelligence, health, family, friends . . . who could ask for more. Plus, you have such a way with words. That is your gift. Just love the way you write.
This is our month! We control the way we spend it. Let’s find the “goodie” in everything we do and CELEBRATE ourselves this month. . . Anything that will make us happy, let’s do it.
Love you Pretty Girl!
Sunshine Click here to return to the site.
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Tags: relationships · law of attraction · spirituality · Blogging · Pass it forward · Friends · Parenting
October 13th, 2007 · 1 Comment
It is a beautiful, sunny day in Dallas. Even better, it’s a new day.
The stressful, sleepless week of juggling my sick daughter and high conflict family law mediation sessions (in shoes that pinched both of my little toes), missing the quarterly event of which I am a Cabinet member, the multiple outings to the pediatrician, the constant exposure to my Mother’s unsolicited input on every aspect of my life (she has been residing in my dining room while her condo is being remodeled), the worry about not being able to complete my taxes before the Monday deadline, realizing that I have gained 5 pounds by falling off of my nutritional regime, and having to listen, telephonically, to Boots, last night, telling me (out of the blue and quite abruptly) that he doesn’t want a romantic relationship with me (we weren’t in one) are all in the past.
On this gorgeous new day, I am choosing to begin anew. My first step was getting a full night of sleep. My next step was a short conversation with my mother about curtailing her daily narrative about how I should be doing things differently Third step – resolving the litter box problem. The fourth step was making a list about who I am.
Sleep and the fourth step were the most helpful. The list allowed me to see where I was veering off course. I realized that I’ve put too many things on my plate and it’s time to wash that dish. Mothering is such a large task – click here to see a humorous bit about it. That remains on the plate.
I’ve added taking care of myself to the plate. Watching after my mother is no longer on my plate, because it isn’t necessary – she’s doing well on her own. Scraping Boots off the rim of the plate was actually a huge relief. Who needs to have unnecessary complicated and confusing relationships on their plate? I love my work so I’m leaving that on my plate. Now, the rest of the plate is open for my hopes and dreams … which includes a new pair of work shoes that don’t pinch my toes.
I realized that is was time to start again when I noticed two things: (1) I was focusing too much on what other people thought (the mythical “they” were actually on my mind when I was buying my dress last week); and (2) there was no longer any room in my life to pursue my hopes and dreams. By last night, I had morphed into a crumpled, worried, sleepless mess. Business Girl and BizWhiz were emphatic that I forget about working on my taxes for the evening and go to bed. Good advice – thank G-d for my friends! I did the fourth step as I lay in my bed waiting to fall asleep.
I feel so much lighter today. Returning to my authentic self is my birthday gift to myself. In our daily, hectic existence (single parent or not), we all sometimes loose ourselves in the overload mode. My mother has a saying: “All you have to do is die and pay your taxes.” Sunshine, my cousin and close friend, uses a saying given to her by her Grandmother: “Remember to take the goodie.” If you combine the two sayings, the result is a simple, do-able formula for living well. It leaves space for charitable endeavors, enjoying friendships, and keeping a clean mind. If you make it your moniker to monitor your mind (what you expose it to and what you choose to let in), you are aces above the rest. Add in gratitude, and you’ve got it!
I’m going to fill this day with things that bring me joy. I’ll visit with some friends, play with my dogs, jog, take in a few rays, and straighten up my house. Hopefully, my daughter will want to do something with me, too – you never know with teenagers.
Cheers to you all – may you fill your day with things that bring you joy, as well!
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Tags: relationships · Single Parenting · law of attraction · spirituality · Dating · Friends · Personal Development
My Grandmother has a saying: “Man makes plans and G-d laughs.” Boy, that hits the spot today. My daughter has been sick all week. Right there, with my maternal instincts, I’m knocked a little off-balance. Factor in trying to work and daily tasks while tending to a sick child, I’ve come up with nothing much to brag about.
As I write this, there is a beautiful new dress (the first I’ve purchased all year) hanging in my dressing room, a slick pair of high black pumps perched directly below. It took such planning to find the time to shop and get ready for the event tonight. I even did a fake tan (which I don’t even believe in . . . I’m going to blog about that one day). My friends, BizWhiz, Vomit Jelly Bean Man (whose real name is “Girl in the Kitchen”), and Boots, will all be there tonight. I’ll be at home with my daughter. Why? Because I’m her single parent mother and she doesn’t feel good.
I’m sad to be missing the appetizers (which aren’t on my diet), the speaker, and visiting with all of the fun adults. Sometimes, when these situations arise, I feel so isolated. Rather than brood, I employ my favorite saying: “G-d has a plan. We may not know what it is, but G-d has a plan.” I use that one a lot, especially when I am disappointed. It also comes in handy when dealing with a break-up — mine or anyone else’s. It’s a nifty little thing to spout out when you can’t think of anything else to say. It is certainly much more hopeful than my old saying, which I can’t remember because I haven’t had any sleep, being up all night with my daughter. Ah, it just came to me! “It is what it is.” It’s a good thing I’ve let that saying go, don’t you think?
Well, Sunshine just called and ended my pity party by validating my decision to stay home. I love Sunshine. Business Girl validated me several times earlier. Aparrently, I need a lot of validation today. Sometimes it’s very hard parenting alone in a vacuum.
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Tags: relationships · Single Parenting · Family · Dating · divorce · Friends
I just had a short visit with my next-door neighbor, a beautiful widow who is 63. It’s been several years since she has lost her husband and, finally, she is contemplating dating! She is so full of life; I’ve been waiting for her to reach this conclusion. Ah, then it was followed by a lecture to me about looking for a mate. It was a short lecture, though, and we both concluded that the search involves the risk of a relationship that may end . . . and the emotional pain that goes along with that. She thinks that type of pain is more difficult for a person of her age to sustain — that older people do not bounce back as quickly as a person of my age. I don’t know that I agree with that.
I read an interesting blog: http://singlemomseeking.wordpress.com/. I could so relate to her experience of a child behaving in a seemingly unreceptive manner towards a would-be boyfriend. Mine, although she has always wanted me to remarry, has a very wry sense of humor. Several years ago, I introduced her to a man I really liked while she was holding a box of Harry Potter jelly beans. We were at an outdoor children’s picnic at his house — she gave me a quick look, and offered him a particular jelly bean. I knew from the look what she was had in mind. It was the jelly bean flavored “vomit.” Before he could reach down, I tried to dissuade him from taking it (without an explanation so it seemed rather odd). He took it anyway, spit it out and began gagging. My little darling went running off to play with the other children. I turned to my cousin and whispered “I’m never getting married again, am I.” She just laughed.
At this point, I don’t know that I am looking for a partner in marriage. Raising a teenager, working, and keeping the house in order seem to fill my days. I still long for a soul mate, sometimes, but I don’t have the energy to deal with the Mr. Almost Right’s that have come my way. I live my life with so many balls in the air that, when I feel sad, it makes it nearly impossible to keep juggling. So, I really don’t know that my neighbor is correct. I think going through a break-up with Mr. Almost Right is always difficult. In fact, I think that’s why G-d created infatuation; it makes us forget that there could be a downside to taking that gamble. Cheers to infatuation!
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Note: The following opinion does not apply to instances where domestic violence is involved. All opinions expressed, herein, are simply opinions and should not be construed as legal advice or legal representation. Each State has its own set of laws regarding divorce and nothing stated below should be construed as deterring a divorcing party from seeking legal representation.
At some point or another, many married people think about divorce. Some discuss it with their partner and others quietly contemplate the issue on their own. After mediating yet another session wherein the couple realized they actually did not want a divorce, I have decided to blog on this topic. As a divorce mediator, I happen to love it when the communication lines are opened enough for the couples to evaluate their situation and decide they do not want a divorce. What saddens me is that so many couples go through many of the adversarial litigation steps before they come to this conclusion.
In Texas, we have codified a type of divorce called Collaborative Divorce. In a nutshell, Collaborative Divorce involves a series of face to face discussions/negotiations between the divorcing parties and their lawyers with rules designed to anchor effective communications. However, if either party seeks court intervention (I am simplifying this explanation), the attorneys must immediately withdraw and the parties must find alternate representation or represent themselves before the Court. Yes, this result would mean paying two retainers if alternate representation is sought.
Unfortunately, in Texas, Collaborative Divorce is not employed as often as the standard type of divorce. Litigation, being innately an adversarial process, tends to be experienced as rather invasive by the divorcing spouses. This is particularly problematic when children are involved, because it makes optimal co-parenting very difficult.
If the divorcing parties are not able to settle, in Texas, they will most likely be ordered to mediation prior to trial. The overwhelming majority of divorcing couples eventually settle before the trial date . . . after spending thousands of dollars and becoming thoroughly aggravated with each other.
This brings me back to my initial set of thoughts regarding those who are contemplating divorce. First, really examine the validity of the basis behind your ideas concerning divorce…especially if children are involved. More clearly stated, I am not advocating that anyone stay in an unworkable situation or that spouses should stay together “for the good of their children” – I am simply suggesting that you really explore the basis for choosing to divorce.
Secondly, if you do decide to divorce, realize that you will be connected to your spouse for the rest of your life, if you have children, so keep that in mind as you traverse the very tumultuous experience of going through a divorce.
The laws regarding divorce vary from state to state. While consulting with your attorney, you might want to discuss trying to mediate the divorce prior to going through protracted litigation. Personally, I would request a mediator who has been trained in principled negotiation. If you have a good mediator who is skilled at opening the lines of communication, you, as a couple, will have the best chance at retaining control over matters concerning your children and your assets, and creating an agreement which is in the best interest of your child(ren) and most workable for both spouses.
Remember, when all is said and done, the lawyers and the judge will go home and continue their lives, but it is you and your spouse who must live by the Decree of Divorce. Thus, it seems logical you would want to be the two who devise that agreement. Click here to return to the site.
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Tags: relationships · Family · divorce · mediation
I am writing from my backyard where the fireflies are still blinking in October. I’ve never seen them this late in the season so I consider them a little treat from G-d that they are with me here tonight. Sometimes, in the hectic rush of our sometimes band aid existences, I think we forget to look for G-d’s hand in our day.
My mind is filled with topics for this blog. I thought about mentioning how much I disliked Bill O’Reilly’s analogy of the athlete who used steroids and Senator Craig (see earlier blog on my thoughts about what happened to Senator Craig). I see no correlation between the two situations. But, I suppose, nobody bats 1,000.
I’m also thinking about my utter dismay over what I perceive as stilted stories from media I once considered reputable. How are we supposed to stay informed when almost every major newspaper and station seems to have a political agenda? For this election, I’m just going to read the candidate’s platforms, review their political history (i.e. how they voted on legislative issues), watch the debates, and make up my own mind. All of the necessary links can be found here). I’ve never been one to follow the fold.
I’ve also been thinking about those on food stamps and the homeless. As, I’ve mentioned previously, both on my site as well as in my blog, I had a garage sale on ebay. Prior to doing this, I made several donations of clothing and household goods to various charities. I was rather dissatisfied with that when I learned that the articles I was donating were going to thrift shops (many of which ebay sellers frequent, purchase the articles for a fraction of their value and resell them online). I wanted my donations to go directly to those in need.
As luck (or the Law of Attraction) would have it, someone left an empty shopping cart adjacent to my property. This is very unusual because I don’t have grocer nearby and I live in the sort of neighborhood where the homeless are never seen. I made a poster board sign that said “Free,” and filled the cart with all kinds of wonderful things I no longer wanted. As the day progressed, I noticed my neighbors followed suit. By midday, the cart was surrounded by other interesting and useful articles. By the end of the day, everything was gone but the cart. It was a real “pass it forward” moment.
I have the cart in my garage now. Willie, my trash man, saw me staring at it one morning and so he brought it over to my house. If it isn’t raining, I’m going to refill it on Monday and see what happens. My neighborhood is in the process of being turned over to builders constructing McMansions so we have many laborers (working for next to nothing) in the area during the week. I’ll keep you posted on the results.
It’s also time to empty our pushkies (little containers that hold change). Each month, per our family tradition going back several generations, we collect our spare change and throw them into one of the pushkies throughout the house. Each month, we roll the coins and decide which charity it should go to. This month ours will go towards purchasing toilet paper for our local food bank. Why toilet paper? Click here and read the Colonel of Wisdom column.
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Tags: Politics · Make Money · Family · law of attraction · Democracy · spirituality · Charity · Pass it forward
October 5th, 2007 · 1 Comment
Do you know your neighbors?
If not, you may be missing out on some of the most interesting and important relationships in your sphere of influence. Have you ever seen an old television show from the 50’s where a character runs next door to borrow a cup of sugar? In 2007, those relationships still exist. I know because I live in one of those neighborhoods. I have borrowed eggs, sugar, milk and, once when I was sick, a neighbor from down the street brought me a chicken so that I could make some chicken soup for myself.
One of my neighbors, the late Dorothy, was one of my mentors. Perhaps, that is why her visit in my dream was so jarring (see previous blogs — I’m beginning to get over it.)
Dorothy and her husband lived next door to me. When I moved into this neighborhood, I paid them a morning visit to introduce myself and they asked me if I would like to join them for coffee. At that time, they had been together for 61 years and married for 51. They met when her husband climbed up their fence in New York and began singing to her. She was thirteen, and he fifteen, at the time. Now, they were both in their late eighties and still extremely sharp.
One day, Dorothy asked me if I would like to go “marketing” with her. When I said yes, I had no idea it would be a three hour outing! She was the most amazing and savvy shopper I have ever seen. We went to three separate stores. The first store was a chain grocery store where she completely filled her basket. When she checked out, her bill was $12.01(after the coupons) and that included a huge hen. It was Dorothy who taught me to always ask the butcher for a hen because hens are tenderer.
When Dorothy became ill in her early nineties, she was forced to spend much of her time in bed. I would go over, lay with her in bed, and we would visit for hours about politics, my suitors, our children, and life in general. My favorite times with Dorothy were when she shared stories about her life — the couple had lived all over the world and led a life of true adventure. She was no blushing rose. She always told me exactly what she thought and her advice (which I often did not want to hear) was always dead on. At one point, three months before she passed away, her son placed her in a nursing facility. Business Girl is working on the post about “the day we broke Dorothy out of the nursing home” and returned her to her husband — the love of her life. That is one of my most favorite memories with Business Girl… the image of Business Girl and my daughter trying to race Dorothy, in her wheelchair, out of the side door of the Home with Dorothy waving her cane like a sword is indelibly etched in my mind.
I can tell you the names of every person on my block and some from the next. When you know your neighbors, your street (or building) takes on a magical quality. You have a cheering squad in good times and people who bring you food during moments of sadness. And what a privilege it is to be a thread in the weave of so many different people’s lives!
Thought for this weekend: Bring a plate of cookies over to a neighbor you don’t know and introduce yourself. Your very best friend may be on the other side of that door.
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Tags: relationships · Family · law of attraction · spirituality
October 5th, 2007 · 1 Comment
For additional Halloween online shops, click here!
Are you having a Halloween party? Decorating the exterior of your home with pumpkins? How will you be decorating the interior of your home? Do you have a special way to receive your trick or treat children? There are some wonderful Halloween soundtracks available for purchase — that, combined with spooky lighting, a great costume, and something interesting to serve your candy from will make your home the place all of the kids will be talking about.
If your are carving pumpkins, remember to save the seeds. One of our favorite traditions is to clean the seeds, lay them out on a cookie sheet that has been sprayed with Pam, lightly salt the seeds and bake! Our freshly baked pumkin seeds are the best and it’s a fun family activity.
Tags: Single Parenting · Family · Easy Halloween · recipes
You probably have a light switch in every room in your home. Do you also have one of those boring plain plates covering the switches? I bought a switchplate for my livingroom — that one small addition was the finishing touch! I couldn’t believe how powerful adding such a simple element could be.
I’ve added a shop button to the top of this post so that you can browse and find your perfect plates. If you can’t access the button at the top, you can find the button at the bottom of the page at http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net/Seasonal.html . While you are there, you may also want to check out the cool Halloween screensaver above it!
Tags: Easy Halloween · Home Decor
I’m trying not to think about my dream from last night (see previous blog). I did call to have my Will drafted.
Tonight, I’ve been trying to think about other things. I told Business Girl about my dream and asked her if she would come to my funeral. She said she refused to talk about it.
Next, I had a long conversation with my very close friend, BizWiz, who gave me part five, the epilogue, of his chapter with Obsessive Text Messaging Girl.
Part I: It was great but she text messaged him 20 times a day until he finally had to buy a Blackberry to keep up with her.
Part II: He tells her for the nth time that he doesn’t want to get married again (at least not to a person he has only known for a few months — he’s kind so he omitted the part in these parentheticals);
Part III: She tries to manipulate him into being “the One” and, when that fails, returns to constantly text messaging him about how sad she is and that he is selfish;
Part IV: He learns, the following day, that she has also been simultaneously text messaging another man about marrying him; and
Part V: She gives up and I learn that both she and her obsessive ex-husband (who kept asking me to go out without success) don’t like me — he is offended I didn’t go out with him which somehow offended her. I really don’t know either of these two people.
The conversation was helpful until we hit the part about the obsessive people not liking me. I don’t like it when people don’t like me.
That’s when I remembered I might only have four more months to live. And, if that were true, why would I spend it worrying about what a pair of obsessive people, I don’t know, think? Look at that last sentence — it’s just awful. Did I mention that all of us will be at the same party next week? And Boots, too. Doesn’t that sound fun?
Despite the fact that I live in a large city, the circles all intersect — it’s like Bob, Carol, Ted and Alice on a mobius strip . . . or an ongoing Chinese pot luck dinner where all of the same guests play musical chairs. Now, because of the shock of my possible impending death, I am finding it more difficult to apply the Law of Attraction. Instead I am visualizing Obsessive Text Messaging Girl going after Boots at the party. When I told Biz Whiz what I was thinking, he asked what I would do. I said I would pinch him (BizWhiz) very hard. He just laughed. Thank G-d for good friends.
For the 
click here.
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Tags: Humor · relationships · death · Dating
I am far too young to be so far out of “the know.” YouTube, to me, is becoming more engaging than watching a movie (which you can probably do on YouTube). Technorati is a mega site loaded with masses of blogs on every subject. . . Boing, Boing being on of the most popular blogs. I love that name — very catchy (and sticky, too . . . you’ll get that if you read The Tipping Point or Made to Stick).
For the past two days, I’ve heard nothing but “ding dong” relationship stories from my friends. (Topping anything I have ever heard in my line of work . . . which deals exclusively with relationships). One of my male friends has been dating an attractive woman only to learn that “she” was a “he” . . . in a very awkward way. One of my female friends went to the gym with a man she likes even though she hates to work out. I don’t know what she was doing but somehow she flew off the back of a moving treadmill. She doesn’t think he will ask her out again.
My favorite, was from a female friend who was set up on a blind date. Her doorbell rang, but she couldn’t see anything when she looked through the peephole so she didn’t open the door. This happened several times. Finally, she opened her door to find a lovely gentleman who was (her guess) four feet tall. She, being almost 6 feet tall, was surprised at not being informed of his height in advance. People stared at them during the entire date.
Speaking of nights, tonight is the last night of Sukkot. If you’ve been seeing people eating or sleeping in little huts, they’ve been celebrating this holiday. If you have noticed anyone shaking a clump of branches (lulav) or holding a piece of fruit that looks like a lemon (an etrog and very expensive), that’s why. “Lulav” is a sticky word . . . “shaking your Lulav” would make a catchy rap. And it is fun to dine al fresco. Maybe I’ll eat in a sukkah tonight.
I haven’t had nightmares in five nights. Though, last night, I did dream that my deceased neighbor told me that I was going to die in four months. We had a little chat and then she told me, as casually as if she was saying it was going to rain. That’s been on my mind today. If nothing else, it’s good incentive to start on all of those things I’ve been putting off. I was hoping to find my “muse” before I passed (you’ll get that if you read The 4 Hour Work Week). By the way, all of the books I’ve mentioned are excellent. I’m currently listening to Greenspan’s — I’ll let you know about that one. The opening chapter is great.
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Tags: Humor · relationships · Single Parenting · Books
October 2nd, 2007 · 1 Comment
Why do we, in 2007, continue to categorize people? Is it our mechanism for processing the barrage of daily information we encounter or just another facet of bigotry? I suppose we could euphemize this phenomenon and call it ”making generalizations,” but the end result is the same; We are replacing individuals with stereotypes. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Sounds dangerous, doesn’t it?
I am hoping that the more current New York Times Best Seller Lists are a barometer of the burgeoning voice of a moral and ethical evolution. The consumer trend appears to be seeking a positive outlook, a betterment, and stories about people who have thrived through even the most desperate situations. The readers are striving for personal actualization — but not the actualization of the previous “ME” generation. The trend is about actualizing in the emerging “WE” generation.
I believe that the majority of the Americans are embarking on a new perspective — one that encompasses the overall interests of the people as a whole. 9/11 affected ALL of us. Katrina and its aftermath affected ALL of us. Global Warming is affecting ALL of us. The way in which we choose to implement immigration laws will affect ALL of us. The lack of effective prison rehabilitation programs affects ALL of us. The stringency of the penalties regarding pedophiles, kidnappers, and rapists and other felonies affects ALL of us.
Are there still myopic people who cling to static theories? Yes. Are there still people who lodge smear campaigns against those possessing opposing opinions? Yes. Look at how the words of both Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh were twisted in the past couple of weeks. Democracy entitles us ALL to freedom of speech. Defamation cloaked as Democracy, however, is vile and injures ALL of us. If WE are unable to obtain reliable information from OUR presses, it makes it very difficult for US to make informed decisions . . . Our right to Freedom of Speech was designed for open debate, not to enable the dissemination of blatantly defamatory characterizations and clear distortions of fact.
WE are remembering that WE hold the real power. WE know that America is truly in the hands of its people. WE, as consumers, have the choice to eliminate faulty sources of news/information by not patronizing them or the products made by those who sponsor them. If WE don’t buy it, its market, and thus it, will disappear. WE drive the market.
WE elect our officials — they work for US. If WE don’t like the choices they are making, it is our obligation and duty to make our voices heard and promote solutions rather than hatred and derision. WE are the UNITED States. WE have family and friends who are putting their lives on the line for US at this moment. Don’t WE owe them our deepest dedication to finding a solution by uniting rather than remaining spectators to the continuing and unproductive political jabs of would have’s, should have’s could have’s? WE can do better than that. OUR people’s lives are at stake and WE inherently know that it is wrong to leverage lives for political finesse and gain.
WE need to learn from our previous apathy and, perhaps, naivite. WE need be proactive and much more cognizant. Write to your Representatives - you can find the links here. WE need to begin evaluating pending legislation and thoroughly evaluate each of the new candidate’s platforms — click here for links.
Now, more than ever, is the time for US to be The UNITED States. Please join me as I tie a blue and a red ribbon around my tree as OUR joint expression that WE are seeking a unified front as a Nation.
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Tags: Politics · psychology · Family · Democracy
It’s October 1st and time to begin preparations for Halloween! Still a bit early to buy your Pumpkins for carving, but the perfect time to shop for your costumes! Make Halloween easy by buying your costumes early! I’m going to add some great costume shops below so you can take care of that chore today! Whether it’s a costume for you or your children, these Halloween costume shops have it all and cheap! Look below for great Halloween costume savings! Just click on the link or icon. Save yourself hours!
HUGE SALE right now at Costume Craze! 
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Tags: Single Parenting · Family · Easy Halloween
If you aren’t feeling optimal, have you looked at your diet? Current thought on proper diet requires that we eat several small meals each day. Breakfast is, in fact, still considered one of the most important meals of the day. If it is difficult to make a meal before you run out the door, try a protein shake. When shopping for a good shake, you should be looking for low sugar content and high protein and fiber content. Remember that the recommended daily intake of fiber is 20-35 grams each day.
While we know that trans fats shouldn’t be included in our diet, labeling on this issue is tricky. The upper portion of the label may say no trans fat but, as you read the ingredients, words that contain ‘hydrogenated’ mean that trans fat exists in that product. Another common pitfall for many comes in the form of salad dressings and condiments. Read the labels for sugar, fat and corn syrup. Whole Foods has a great selection of these items without corn syrup. Watch the amount of dressing you use as it can be a source of mega calories. Store bought tuna and chicken salad can be very fattening because of the mayonnaise (which probably also has corn syrup).
Antioxidants are wonderful components for your diet. Antioxidants are substances that protect against cell damage by guarding them against free radical damage. I’ve listed the top antioxidant fruits and vegetables in a previous Blog. Here is the recipe for my Super Antioxidant Salad: Chop and mix green leaf lettuce, fresh spinach, and kale (amazingly high in antioxidants but tough so you will want to tear it into little pieces). Add chopped fresh beets, onions, fresh corn and either black beans or garbanzo beans (for a little more fiber). I also add a couple of boiled eggs (smashed) — you can leave the yolks out as the protein is in the egg whites. I add a couple of tablespoons of cold pressed extra virgin olive oil and mix the salad thoroughly.
Carbonated beverages are not good for you. They are especially bad for the calcium content in your bones. This includes carbonated water. Drinking enough purified water is key. If you are buying milk, try an organic brand that doesn’t contain hormones and pesticides. I use the Silk brand unsweetened soy milk instead of cow’s milk.
I can’t say enough about Whole Foods. The staff is very knowledgeable and, at least at the one near my home, personal shopping is a free service. They have an imprint of my credit card and driver’s license so all I have to do is email the concierge my grocery list. A few hours later, I drive up and am presented with all of my groceries bagged, paid for and in a cart. That saves me an enormous amountof time AND keeps me from making those little impulsive buys.
Tags: Diet · Nutrition · Antioxidants
September 30th, 2007 · No Comments
The pro life stance is necessarily rooted in religious dogma. There can be no other explanation for it. It a person didn’t believe that a fetus had a soul or was actually a person, there would be no reason to object to its removal. While each citizen is legally allowed their belief, laws based on religious dogma presents a conflict with the separation of Church and State. To adopt a pro life stance and attempt to force it upon others by virtue of law, is unconstitutional.
Additionally, the ramifications for passing, promoting and picketing these positions have wide reaching effects that are at odds with most of the religious belief systems. For example, in the particular large city I reside, most all Ob’s will not perform an abortion. Most fear that they will be picketed or boycotted or, worse, have their lives threatened. I know of several women who desperately wanted children only to learn that their fetus had expired. To say that they were traumatized would be an understatement. Because their Ob’s were afraid to perform abortions for the reasons stated above, these women had to go to clinics and have the procedure administered by Doctors about whom they knew nothing about. Picture this – a women carrying a dead fetus being forced to go to a clinic she knows nothing about to have the dead fetus removed. Adding to her stress are a group of people screaming at her as she approaches the clinic. Are you pro life people aware of how often this occurs? Are you advocating this stance?During pregnancy, women go through a series of tests to determine the health and viability of the fetus. Are you aware of the number of people who learn that they are carrying fetuses who, before or upon birth, will be unviable? Study it. The numbers will astound you. It seems to me, that a more practical approach would be to attack the laws, tort and criminal, they currently do not recognize a fetus as a person. The reason I believe this hasn’t been a successful avenue is because there is a lack of medical data to support the position. For example, in Texas, a fetus is not considered a person until the moment it is born alive. For this reason, if it is born without being alive, although one day prior it may have been alive, that fetus has no cause of action toward the OB regardless of any mistakes that OB made in facilitating its demise. At the very least, I would expect that the people adopting and advocating the pro life agenda would be more informed about their position. It is one thing to decide that you, personally, will not seek to terminate your pregnancy. It is quite another decide that another person doesn’t have sufficient reason to terminate hers. Do your math. Understand the statistics. Furthermore, if you do not believe in terminating lives, focus on the death penalty laws. Spend your energies there. Better yet, beyond simply boycotting this law or trying to convert prisoners to save their souls, seek out avenues that will help to rehabilitate our prisoners who will be released during THIS LIFETIME. It seems to me that you would be saving a great many more lives if you could implement rehabilitative prison programs so that upon the release of these inmates, they will have a set of tools that enable them to live a productive life without repeating another crime. Look at the statistics of those released and continue to commit crimes. What do we expect? What kind of rehabilitation did they receive?
Another area, which I wish we would all focus more on, is saving our children from pedophiles. Why haven’t all states adopted Jessica’s law? If you are unfamiliar with this legislation, go to http://wwwjmlfoundation.org . Write to your representatives. Boycott and picket those judges who are letting these pedophiles back onto our streets after minor sentences. Look at the statistics of repeat offenders. Notice how the crimes escalate in violence? If saving the lives of children is really your main concern, wouldn’t that be the place to start? Take all of that energy you would otherwise be devoting to abortion issues and direct it toward saving the children who are already born. Help us all to recover a nation which once allowed our children to bike, walk, run and play without fearing abduction. Now, that would be a mission with which we would all be in accord!
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Tags: Politics · Religion · Family · pro life vs. pro choice · Jessica's Law · pedophiles
September 28th, 2007 · 3 Comments
Having attended college when computers were just invented, I felt very accomplished that I was able to manipulate one well enough to create a simple document. Later, as computers became more user friendly, I was able to work with better ease. How I have managed to build a working blog which can be read by Google amazes me. Why my site, http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net , cannot be read by the “bots” is a source of great irritation.
I have all of the essential key words and phrases: single parent, single parents, single parent home, single parent homes, single mom, single dad, single parent help, single parenting . . . http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net is a great site but can’t be read by the bots.
So, I’ve bought an HTML ebook. It looks reader friendly and I am going to attempt to rebuild a bot-friendly front page. Interested in getting a free copy of this book? Go to my site and subscribe to it. I’ll send you the handy little adobe book for free!
If you have thoughts or comments about what you would like to see on the site, please include them! http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net.
While you are there, you may want to visit the Current Issues page, http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net/Currentissues.html , and read about all of the presidential candidates, go to the Senate, the House, read the Constitution, or the White House Kid’s Page. You can also access the U.S. Supreme Court opinions from there. You will also find links to to several major news companies and read the top Digg articles!
If you want to browse the current New York Times Best Seller List (or purchase any of them), visit http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net/Bookstore.html . You will also find a selection of books on the Law of Attraction and the best Parenting Books. All of these can be purchased from http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net/Bookstore.html
Need cheap Halloween costumes? Make Halloween easy and buy online from http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net/Seasonal.html . You will find Halloween costumes for Adults, infants, and children. There are thousands of costumes available from this page — your whole family could dress in theme for Halloween this year. No need to go to a store with a picked over selection — you will find whatever costume you want at http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net/Seasonal.html .
Need cash? Visit http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net/MakingDollars.html and make money. See how I made over a thousand dollars by doing a partial garage sale on ebay. I’m telling you that your trash really is someone else’s treasure. This page also has a great link for buying Green products and explains how Going Green with this company can not only save you money but allow you to make some, too. Rethinking your mortgage or not getting the highest interest rates on your money? Go to http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net/MakingDollars.html for all the links you need!
Interested in learning more about The Law of Attraction? http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net/HeartandSoul.html
Enjoy!
Tags: Politics · relationships · Single Parenting · Go Green · Make Money · Family · law of attraction · Blogging
September 27th, 2007 · No Comments
Grief. Loss. Never knowing when you may burst into tears. I’ve been through that phase. Having to look into my Mother’s tear-filled eyes and then gut it up and go on with my day. I’ve been through that phase, too. I’ve now been through one year of holidays and the would-be birthdays since losing my younger and only brother. The nightmares, however, won’t stop.
Maybe, had it not been a sudden, unexpected and tragic loss, I would be able to resume my normal, unfettered dreams. Maybe had I not learned about his death in the middle of a meeting at the office by phone . . . when my Mother said he was “gone,” I thought she meant he had taken a trip. What else would I have thought? I had just spoken to him a few days before. Everything was normal that late Friday afternoon.
The following Friday night, I was at the funeral home waiting for his body to arrive from Florida. His body was late and I found that additionally disturbing. Prior to that, I remember sitting in my kitchen, watching the clock during the time I knew they were performing his autopsy. Each minute moving painfully by almost as if they were cutting me with the scalpel. Initially, the coroner had mistakenly pulled the wrong body.
“Accept it,” my Father told me several months ago. Is that really possible to accept that your childhood cohort, your confidante, the other half of your family team has vanished into thin air? I think it is more of a resign that has come over me. Still, every night, the nightmares come. I’ve been through talk therapy, hypnotherapy, bouts of meditation and daily prayers, yet, each night, I am visited by nightmare after nightmare after nightmare. I now experience a great deal of anxiety about falling asleep. My doctor has prescribed every sleeping aid known to date. My anxiety is so strong that it actually overrides every medication. So, I don’t.
Some nights, I am able to peacefully drift off to sleep and into the nightmares. Other nights, a quiet terror overtakes me before I give into my night of hellish dreams. Never the same, each dream incorporates elements of my day, twisting them around into Poe-ish vignettes. This week, though, has been the worst. After reading “The Monkey’s Claw” with my daughter, my dreams began surpassing any Stephen King creation.
So, what can I do? My guess is to just ride them out and, one day soon, perhaps I will meet the dawn with the realization that the nightmares have passed. Open to thoughts and suggestions . . .
Tags: relationships · psychology · Family · loss · death
September 26th, 2007 · No Comments
Tags: Blogging
September 26th, 2007 · 1 Comment
Not a new topic, yet one that is consistently topical. The consequences of our word choices are with us during all waking hours and, if we’ve chosen poorly, may creep into the dreams of others at night. Additionally, it isn’t just our word choice but the way in which we use our words and the accompanying tone which has the propensity to create a positive or negative ripple of moods throughout a segment of the population. Sometimes, it may be what we intentionally, or unintentionally, forget or opt not to say that can cause the tide of moods.
There are some who believe that words can’t hurt you. I vehemently disagree. Defamation and slander can be so powerful that they can place a negative brand on a person for years. What do you think of when you hear Michael Jackson’s name now? What phrase comes to mind when we hear the Rutger’s Women’s Basketball team? Despite how incredibly these young women handled themselves in the aftermath of Don Imus’ foul (understatement) description, his phrase still leaps to our mind.
In politics, words often tend to muddy the waters and serve to obscure our understanding of the issues. Is this a mechanism used to pull our attention away from a candidate who may have a brilliant idea or an otherwise captivating presence? Is it a function of ineffective communication?
Words are manifestations of thought. Dr. Wayne Dyer has a best selling book out on that now, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao
. The Law of Attraction addresses the concept. Tomes and lectures are based on this topic. If you are looking for blue cars on the road, what will you notice? Blue cars. If you expect negative interactions or effects, it is likely that is what you will observe. Our thoughts are the powerful front runners of our words.
So, what are your thoughts? Sometimes, when we are in the midst of a hectic existence, we can be oblivious to our thoughts. Julie Cameron, in her book, The Artist’s Way, The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity [10th Anniversary Edition]
,has a fabulous exercise for ascertaining our thoughts. She prescribes that we write three extemporaneous pages each morning upon waking. If you try this exercise for a few days, you may be shocked at what you read. On those pages you might find old negative messages, worries or fears that may now be baseless . . . But, it’s a good first step in clearing your mind of past clutter and opening new space for positive, clearer ideas. If you enjoy guided meditations, Ellen Chernoff Simon has a great CD called Mind Mint, Guided Audio Imagery Mind Mint Relaxation CD
, which attempts to take you through a journey of clearing out those old cobwebs. (Caution: Do not listen to Mind Mint while driving. It will put you into an alpha state which is almost like a sleep state. Sounds crazy but it is true).
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Tags: Politics · relationships · psychology · law of attraction · spirituality
September 24th, 2007 · No Comments
As if following your holiday visitation order wasn’t difficult enough, meet the newest twist – newly divorced grandparents! The older tier of Baby Boomers aren’t as savvy about delegating holidays as their younger counterpart. If fact, many older divorcing couples remain completely clueless about the ramifications of their holiday plans. They assume, perhaps, that because their children are adults, their divorce has little impact. Their Decrees have no mention of disparaging language or holiday possession.
Consequently, we are seeing a new crop of divorcing grandparents who are unwittingly using their adult children as confidante’s, pawns, and go-betweens. Not only does this put the adult children in an uncomfortable position, but it also creates circumstances which are difficult to explain to their children (the grandchildren). With the Holidays nearing, some divorced adult children and their single parent families may be faced with the prospect of eating two Thanksgiving dinners and celebrating Christmas Eve and Christmas twice when they are in the possession of the adult child of divorce. For many grandchildren, this is not fun. It can also be confusing.
On the flip side, if the adult children of divorce invite both divorced grandparents to join them for the Holidays, they may have to hear the “if he/she is going I won’t be there.” This is impracticable if the grandparents live in a different city than their adult children.
So, what is one to do in this predicament? If you have suggestions, please post them here.
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Tags: relationships · psychology · Single Parenting · Family
September 20th, 2007 · No Comments
Several minutes before sunset on Friday night, the Jewish observance of Yom Kippur will begin. The first service is called “Kol Nidre, ” which means “all vows.” If you are interested in what it sounds like, click here.
In this prayer, G-d is asked to annul all personal vows made in the next year. It refers only to vows between the person making them and G-d, such as “If I could just do X, I’ll pray every day for the next year!” Transgressions between people must be mended through a personal apology. In other words, it is believed that the only way to atone for a sin against another person is to apologize to that person directly.
Yom Kippur is often referred as “The Day of Atonement.” It is traditional to fast for approximately 26 hours. The concluding service is called Ne’ilah and usually lasts for about an hour. Because the Ark, which holds the Torah (Five Books of Moses), remains open, the congregation is required to stand throughout. At the end of the service, the last blasts of the Shofar (a horn made from a ram’s horn) are sounded. To hear this, click here and select the megaphone icon on number 6. At the conclusion, it is believed that the “Gates” are closed and the “Book of Life” for the year is sealed. Thus, you may see people who never normally go to services attending those for this Holiday. Oy (Oh my!), umbashrien (Heaven forbid) it would take a lot of chutzpah (nerve) to fail to observe this Holiday! Only a shmendrik (nincompoop), a shmegegge (fool), or a Jew with a loch in kop (hole in the head) wouldn’t observe this Holiday. See, now you know some Yiddish! To return to the website, click http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net
Tags: Religion · relationships
September 19th, 2007 · No Comments
I love the topic of the laws of attraction or the law of attraction. Many religions promote management of thought. Many people meditate on a daily basis to manage their thoughts. But, the law of attraction is only subtly approached. I saw The Secret online and through DVD. I remember thinking that some of it seemed hokey. I began to monitor my thoughts and, believe it or not, the things I found hokey in The Secret started happening to me. I, like the woman in The Secret, was looking at and wanting flowers when my phone rang and a friend said he was coming over to give me something. What do you think he gave me? Flowers.
The next day, my garage door opener broke. I called information and asked for the number for Sears, the maker of my garage door mechanism. I wrote the number down perfectly . . . or so I thought. I called the number and do you know who answered? A garage door company – one that immediately came to my house and fixed my opener for free. Inexplicable or the law of attraction?
I downloaded an audiobook to further my knowledge of this interesting phenomenon. Abraham Hicks, as channeled through Esther Hicks, explained the law of attraction in greater detail. While the methodology of the information receipt seemed unusual to me, the information about the laws of attraction were much clearer. http://www.abraham-hicks.com/ is the website for the Hicks and worth visiting. The Hicks newest book was just released and it is on the New York Times Best Seller List. If you want to purchase it, go to http://astore.amazon.com/singleparentingwithstyle-20 .
I have been checking my thoughts daily now. I have to say that I have actually noticed a huge shift in my life. Some people have dropped out and others have miraculously appeared in a strangely synergistic manner.
I decided to try to explain the laws of attraction to me teen. She had made a negative statement about something she thought might occur. I told her that she just placed an order to the universe. She cocked her head and looked at me quizzically. I asked her what she expected when she ordered tandori chicken at the Indian restaurant. She said “tandori chicken.” I told her that the universe was like that and asked if she really wanted to make the order she had just placed. She quickly rephrased her initial statement to me.
I decided to download another audiobook on the topic. This book was by Michael Losier and more fully introduced the concept of using negative terms (i.e. thinking about what you don’t want) than did The Secret. Basically, it explained to take what you don’t want and make the thought into what you do want because “the universe” does not integrate the negative. In other words, a thought that “I don’t want rain” will actually be construed as “I want rain.” The negative is ignored. This makes sense. If I tell you not to think of dragons, what is the first thing you think of? Dragons.
I’ve also read, and have always believed, that people and things send off “vibes.” How many times have you experienced a person who gives you “the creeps,” “the willies,” or an overall bad feeling? Sometimes it is called “bad karma.” These people are putting out negative vibrations. The Law of Attraction would explain that these negative vibrations (or contrasts) originate from the person’s thoughts or speech. The Law of Attraction would also explain that this could be turned around instantaneously if the same person switched gears into positive thoughts and/or language. The ability to send off positive or negative vibes is mutually exclusive; you can one vibe out at a time. other at a time.
Certain words connote positive or negative vibes. Example of words with positive vibes are ”abundance,” “joy,or “bliss.” Some words can engender either vibe, depending upon the subjective experience of the speaker or listener. Examples of these words might be “money,” “work,” and “love.” Stay tuned for more on this topic in future blogs! To return to the website click http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net/index.html.
Tags: law of attraction
September 18th, 2007 · No Comments
I have never been an earthy-crunchy person. I have French manicures, paint my toenails, have my hair highlighted and, one day, I will probably visit a plastic surgeon. I do buy organic produce and organic milk. I don’t use pesticides in my house or in my yard – I have found better and safer ways to keep the bugs at bay.
Maybe that’s an anomaly but I do have a distinct dislike for pesticide on my produce or in my environment which probably dates back to my childhood in Texas. Every night, for years, we had steaks prepared on the grill outside. Inevitably, flies would join us for dinner. I used to sit next to me father at the table and he always had a can of insecticide right next to his plate. His great joy was to squirt the bugs as they flew past. Then he would exclaim “I got it!” Consequently, all of my steak dinners had the residual taste of pesticide. Despite my ongoing protests, he refused to give up this nightly sport. I still recall the taste of it in my mouth.
A few years ago, our neighborhood was chosen for a pilot mandatory recycling program. We were given two large trash cans, the contents of which would be collected only once a week. After a short time, I really began to enjoy the challenge of making it until trash day. Later, the challenge became whether I could fill the blue recycling can more than the regular trash. Later, the challenge was how little I would add to the regular trash during the week. It felt good. I even began subscribing to the news online rather than collect the mounds of newspapers I subscribed to weekly. The joy was in the challenge, however, and not related to the number of trees I was saving.
So, how is it that I went green? I saw the Oprah Show on Earth Day and liked the way the Shaklee baskets looked. I wanted one. I know that’s superficial, but it’s honest. I was very excited when my starter kit arrived – it was like a box of goodies. After mixing the all purpose cleaner, I ran around my house squirting things. Much to my surprise, that cleaner is the best cleaner I’ve ever used. . . and it had no smell. The dishwashing powder left my plates and glasses mirror clean . . .without the noxious smell. The most surprising products were those I used on my laundry. For the first time, the grass stains and soiled socks came out perfectly clean . . . and they had no smell. And I could use their dryer sheets without my daughter breaking out in hives! Our clothes and towels were finally soft again!
When I called Shaklee to reorder the laundry supplies ( I have never run out of any of the other products in the kit because they are so concentrated), I was told I had to find a distributor. I didn’t really care for that – I’m not into multi-level marketing ventures. But, because I loved the products, I found someone I could sign up under. I signed up as a distributor so I could get a bonus recap on my own personal purchases and began buying their vitamins and using their personal care products. And I also began to feel much healthier. Before I knew it, I had gone green AND I was getting significant bonus recaps each month. A couple of people noticed the difference and, this month, I’m getting a $266.00 bonus recap check. I had no idea that going green would not only be ecologically sound BUT that my house and laundry would be cleaner than they have ever been, I would save money AND be making money, too.
Interested? Go to http://www.shaklee.net/goodbyetotoxins/main . You have nothing to lose – all of the products are 100% money back guaranteed. There’s no down side to this one!
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Tags: Green · Go Green · Make Money · Family
September 14th, 2007 · No Comments
It reminds me of The Tell-Tale Heart without the remorse. I suppose it is really the opposite of the Tell-Tale Heart. A jury of his peers found O.J. Simpson innocent in the criminal court. However, the civil court found him to be liable for damages to the victim’s families. That’s a conundrum. He couldn’t be found guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt but is liable by clear and convincing evidence. O.J.’s response – he won’t work another day in his life if it means he has to pay the judgment.
Over a decade later, O.J. writes a book called “If I did it,” and the Goldman family attaches it and has it published. Prior to this, neither family has been able to collect on the civil judgment. The Goldman’s will make 17 cents per sold copy. O.J. made a large advance on the book. Denise Brown, who has become an educator on domestic violence, said she and her family want nothing to do with the book – she opposes its publishing. Writing the book is such an odd thing for an innocent, normal person to do. I have heard his “fictional” account disparages the mother of his children (understatement). The only upside of the publishing of this book is that it probably provides a nice window into the mind of a batterer, if O.J. was, in fact, a batterer. For spouses who are being battered, that may be a wake-up call. Will you buy this book? It’s such a moral quandary, isn’t it? Will it further the legacy of this horrible story and give pleasure to a man by allowing him to disparage Nicole on a massive scale? In the end, will gross sales give the Goldman family satisfaction or leave them feeling disheartened that people are feeding off of O.J.’s words?Personally, I think I will just make a contribution to one of the many domestic violence programs in the victims’ names and have the cards sent to the attorneys for both Fred Goldman and Denise Brown. Obviously, the Goldman family is still in much pain and I cannot even imagine how Denise Brown, who has move forward so admirably, will feel when people begin reading the negative tales about her sister.
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Tags: Politics · relationships · psychology
September 13th, 2007 · No Comments
Have you ever adopted a pet and wondered what its real name is? On the first Mother’s Day after my separation, I took my then 3 year old daughter to an adopt-a pet event, thinking it would be like going to a petting zoo. (Never do this unless you intend to come home with a pet). A fully grown cat kept crawling into her lap. After the third time, my daughter looked up at me, with her big blue eyes, and said “Mom, him’s loves me. Can I take him’s home?”
We brought home a cat with very brittle fur, patches of which had been cut. The remaining fur was stained with a brownish substance in a mottled pattern. I wondered about the history of this animal. He gave us little clues like meowing when he saw a can (hence he knew of canned cat food). But so much remained a mystery.
His fur continued to fall out for weeks and I took him to the vet to make sure he didn’t have mange. It was then I learned that he was neurotic. He sheds when he is afraid. If his environment changes, he vomits. If he is angry, he urinates on the bath mats. But, aside from those little quirks, he has been an excellent pet for my daughter.
He is a very intelligent creature. He has learned tricks and figured out how to open our garage door with the opener. He does not, however, come to the name we gave him. To this day, he won’t even bat an eye when we say this name. For years, during our time alone, I have uttered different names to him. He has never responded. Although I knew I might never hit the right one, I kept trying. I felt sorry for him because he was so beloved and, yet, we didn’t know his name.
This week, after nine years, I tried “Pinky.” He looked up. I couldn’t believe it. I tried it again. He looked up. I went into another room and said “Pinky.” He came running to me. He looked so happy. I felt elated. That last bit of missing information had been found and, now, after nine years, he really knows he’s home.
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Tags: Humor · psychology · Single Parenting · Pets
September 10th, 2007 · No Comments
Tonight, I feel so thankful for my many blessings. The day didn’t begin as planned. My daughter stayed home from school with a stomach virus which threw my schedule off. While I played nurse, I tried to learn how to optimize my website because I noticed it disappeared off of Google. I hold a doctorate degree and a U.S. Patent but I spent at least five hours trying to figure out how to implement the first two chapters of SEO for Dummies. I think something is amiss with my html codes. Unfortunately, I don’t know html.
An alternative, according to the book, is to ask several people who own optimized websites to link to your website. This linkage will allow the bots/spiders a passageway to crawl onto my site. In this case, I am going to have to rely on the Laws of Attraction: “Hello, if anyone is out there with an optimized site, could you please link to mine?” Mine can be found at: http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net ?” It’s a helpful site and I would be most grateful.
In the middle of the stomach virus/optimization debacle, the trainer came and I spent an hour flopping around on my Yoga Ball (with dumbbells . . . noticing a theme?), flying off of it on occasion. I have lost at least an inch, though, from everything but my bust – that was nice to learn. However, after that, it was back to the stomach virus/Dummy Book routine.
Then, something wonderful happened. A childhood friend of mine called and conversing with her completely changed my mood. She has spent the last twenty years as a struggling journalist and photographer and is now on the brink of completing a masterpiece. She emailed the prologue and first three chapters of her manuscript to me and they were really, really good. After reading the prologue, I was so excited for her that I called her back and we spoke for an hour.
After we hung up, I looked around the house and noticed that all of the floors were clean (my new after-school nanny started working this week). I felt joyous — the floors were cleaned by someone other than me! Three people and six shedding or feathered pets live in this house and, now, I no longer have to try to be a cross between the Aviance woman and Martha Stewart.
Bit by bit, all of the day’s frustrations began to melt away. My Type A personality mellowed into a subtle, calm Type B. I remembered that I don’t have to constantly multi-task; that, even though one of my majors was English, it is okay to flail at my attempts to understand a book designed for “Dummies.” That voice from my past brought me back to levity and ease.
Sometimes, it is so hard to remember that we don’t have to be perfect.
Tags: psychology · Single Parenting
As the Jewish holiday, Rosh Hashanah, will begin Thursday night, I thought it would be interesting to give a brief lowdown on what that is. Translated, “Rosh Hashana” means “Head of the Year.” The Jewish calendar is a lunar calendar with each new day beginning at sunset. That is why the holiday will begin at sunset on Wednesday night.
Rosh Hashanah marks the beginning of the “Days of Awe.” It is one of the two “High Holidays,” the other being “Yom Kippor”, which occurs 8 days later. It is between these two holidays that G-d determines who will be inscribed in the “Book of Life” for the following lunar year. The Hebrew month of Elul, which began in early August this year, is the month during which a person has the greatest capacity for change. It is the month for contemplating a person’s betterment – a time to reflect on ways that person can actualize according to the laws of Judaism. During the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippor, each Jew is supposed to begin to live in this actualized way.
Yom Kippor is the “Day of Atonement.” It is a day of fasting. Among the Orthodox, it is customary to wear white (symbolizing purity) and not to wear leather or other adornments which symbolize wealth. The prayer service contains, among other things, a list of apologies for transgressions committed during the previous lunar year. This list is repeated several times during the service and is said, in unison, by all members of the service. The list encompasses a wide array of transgressions. Whether a person believes they have or have not committed all of these “avairas,” or sins, they still are required to ask for forgiveness. One of the reasons for this is because we do not know the actual ramifications of our actions (or lack of actions) and we may have, inadvertently, caused another to have committed one or more of these transgressions. At the conclusion of Yom Kippor, the “Book of Life” is sealed.
Between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippor, one must ask for forgiveness from the people whom they have committed sins against. Yom Kippor does not absolve a person from sins they have committed against other people. There are 613 positive and negative commandments so there is a pretty fair chance that one have transgressed at least a few of these. Common transgressions include gossiping about another or humiliating another. In Judaism, humiliating a person is akin to killing them. If a person apologizes and that apology is not accepted, they are required to apologize another two times. It is a fairly daunting task. Often times, friends will exchange the following sentiment “If I have said or done anything that has harmed or offended you, please accept my sincere apology.” That person should think long and hard before refusing because they will also be judged and, if they expect mercy from G-d, they should be willing to give the same.
The standard greeting between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippor is “L’shanah Tova.” This means you should have a good year. It is also often followed by additional Hebrew words that mean “may you be inscribed in the ‘Book of Life’ for another year.” There are many other customs (“mihogs”) that are carried out among the Jewish on Rosh Hashanah. The most common is to eat apples dipped in honey to symbolize a sweet new year. Other customs vary according to family traditions and levels of observance.
L’shana Tova and may you all be inscribed in the “Book of Life” for another year!
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Tags: Religion
Our Personal Trainer had a great suggestion for everyone who works at a desk. Spend some time sitting on a Yoga ball instead of a chair. Obviously, this would look rather stupid in the workplace, but it’s a great suggestion for the home.
If you are unfamiliar with “Yoga Balls,” they look like gigantic superballs or bouncing balls without handles. They are a great tool for in-home training because, inorder to balance while using them, you have to use your core muscles. They come in different sizes so you want to make sure you don’t purchase one that is too large or small for you.
If you really want to have a laugh, invite a friend unfamiliar with Yoga Balls over and ask them to try the following exercise: lay on their back, place the Yoga Ball between their legs at the knee, and attempt to lift their legs (with the yoga ball in place) up and down. That Yoga Ball will be flying all over the place. The first time, it will probably just fall on their face.
Another great Yoga ball exercise is to simply sit on it and lift one leg up at a time. It sounds very easy. It really isn’t.
Years ago, my ex-husband (a man way ahead of his time) began his morning exercise by doing leg lifts on a Yoga Ball. I found this very amusing, never having seen or been on a Yoga Ball. One morning, I couldn’t help myself. There he was, with folded arms, doing his routine multiple sets of leg lifts on the ball beside the bed. He looked very serious, so I began to sing Ta-ra-ra-boon-deay (the Circus song) in cadence with his leg lifts. He just kept going and I kept singing until he finally cracked up.
Sit-ups are great with the Yoga Ball. You lay on your back with your legs on the ball (knees bent) and start your sit-ups. If you are interested, you might want to order the book I pasted on the bottom of the page located at http://mindbodyheartandsoul.net/Currentissues.html.
Caution: The Yoga Ball looks like a toy but it isn’t. I let my pre-teen bounce it with her friends outside and it popped. No one was injured but I did have to buy another ball.
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Tags: Exercise · Humor
I’ve never liked public restrooms. They usually smell bad and are dirty. Sometimes, the flooring around the toilet is wet and I find myself contorting any way possible to avoid those puddles. Now I know it might not be legal to contort past those puddles if it requires me to have a “wide stance.”
With the world in its current state, I suppose it seems fitting that a story like Craig’s could emerge. Whether or not the man is gay is completely irrelevant. Additionally, if he waited for a particular stall or happened to sit in a certain position while relieving himself, that is none of our business nor newsworthy. . . at least not to me. I didn’t know it was a crime to swing one’s arm in a stall or touch a bathroom floor. Apparently, it is also really awful to tap one’s foot on a public bathroom floor.
What if, instead of Craig, a woman was in his stall and something rolled out of her purse — would she have been charged for trying to recover it from the floor? I have been asked for toilet paper by a person in a neighboring stall. If our fingers touch during the hand off, could we be charged with a crime? Maybe Elaine was right, on Seinfield, when she said she “couldn’t spare a square.”
I’ve never understood why anyone would even ponder another person’s sexual preference unless they were interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with that person. Now, it seems, there are actually bathroom etiquette ramifications if one could be construed as having a same sex preference. How insane is that?
If Sen. Craig had climbed up the divider and peered into the neighboring stall, that would have been a clear invasion of privacy. Instead, it appears that the only invasion of privacy was the one belonging to Sen. Craig. His shock over the ordeal is very clear on the tape. Who wouldn’t be?
Now his three decade career is in the toilet. Notice, I said “in” the toilet . . . because the police report was kind enough to include that Sen. Craig didn’t flush. I might forget to flush under those circumstances, too.
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Tags: Politics
August 21st, 2007 · 1 Comment
If someone had told me that I would one day be writing a blog, I would have thought they were insane. Yet, here I am . . . doing just that. Why? Because I have been blessed with a network of friends who are also single parents (both male and female) and they are often my staple of sanity. I realize that many of you may not be as fortunate so I thought I might share our experiences with you. Feel free to post a question or a comment. If you have a question, I or one of my cronies, will answer you. Hopefully, others will give you their input as well. My thought is 100 heads are better than one . . . even if none of us have the right answer for you, you will know you are not alone.
Today is my meeting with my nutritionist. I can afford her because I made $1,000 on ebay last month selling clutter from around my house. I love ebay.
I hired the nutritionist because I was experiencing incredible fatigue. I have learned much from my previous two meetings with her: eat several small meals throughout the day, always pair a protien with a carb, and she has given me a list of the top anti-oxident fruits and vegetables which I will now share with you in ascending order:
- Fruits: prunes, raisins, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, plums, oranges, red grapes, and cherries.
- Vegetables: kale, spinach, brussel sprouts, broccoli florets, red bell peppers, onions, corn, and eggplant.
The plan here is to eat the correct portion of nuts and fruits within the first hour of waking up, take my vitamins and fish oil capsules, and drink 16 oz. of cold water. Cold water is apparently better than warm because it takes more calories for your body to heat the cold water.
At first, I found it very difficult to eat every three hours but, now, as I am starting to feel really good, it is beginning to grow on me. I have some protien bars, hard-boiled eggs, protien shakes (the protien count must be much higher than the sugar count) and Goji juice for the days I have to eat on the run.
I try to buy only organic produce and dairy. My Whole Foods has complimentary personal shopping. I gave them an imprint of my credit card and a copy of my driver’s license — now all I have to do is email my shopping list to them and they will have everything ready and paid for when I swing by to pick it up. Huge time saver and it’s FREE! Can’t beat that.
Today, I have trepidation about meeting with the nutritionist. I celebrated one of my best friend’s, Business Girl, birthdays last night. Business Girl and I became friends after I dated her ex-husband and he died. Interesting? Anyway, I have taken over the role of making sure that her children have a way to procure her gifts and set up her birthdays . . . Of course, I confer and confirm everything with Business Girl along the way.
Last night, Business Girl chose a fabulous restaurant. I ordered and ate a gigantic salad (without dressing) while everyone else ate delicious-looking appetizers and entrees. I was doing great (minus eating the top of one of the popovers) until her birthday brownie came. Long story short: I ate the entire brownie, all of the ice cream it came with, and the cherry on top. Business Girl thought this was very funny. I think she enjoyed it more than the necklace I gave to her.
Upon returning home, I received a call from Boots, an emotionally unavailable single father whom I adore. He was in front of the house with a gift for me because I took care of him when he was sick last week. I went outside to met him at his car (I’ve learned never to have “dates” around my child) and there he was, with his charming smile, pool-blue eyes, and a box wrapped in leopard paper with a big black bow. It was a gorgeous necklace. At that moment, I really wanted to ride away with him but, instead, thanked him, went back into the house, and ate two very large chocolate chip cookies. Even though I swore to myself that I would get on the treadmill for 30 minutes, I did not. Oh well, nobody bats 1,000.
Tags: Eating Healthy
